Having a phobia of school suuuuuucks.

And I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after the day after that. Or the day after the day after the day after that. Or the d--

Get the picture?

I think they used a turkey in lieu of a chicken because they didn't want to encourage cowardice.

Happy Turkey Day, folk.

EDIT: No content has been changed, I just wanted to show my cool new Journal Skin.

I should be careful, or people might think I was talking jpop.

All right, so... First piece of news. My sister-in-law, Robyn, is pregnant again. With fraternal twins, due in mid-june (Gemini, the sign of the twins!). So. Sweetness there. My bro (her hubby) is so incredibly ecstatic. I'm just upset someone else's birthday comes before mine now and it isn't in Feb. (Kind of an inside joke... of all our family that gets together I have the earliest birthday, July, except for this solid little group of people who all have the same two or three days in February.)

Second piece of news: I officially despise guidance counselors. Okay, maybe that's a bit of a strong word (would you believe completely dislike? Loathe? Abhor the very sorry existence?), but you get the idea. Why do I suddenly dislike them even more than I already did? Let me count the ways:

1) I've been working with mine, like you're supposed to, since Day 1 of entering That Place (high school).
2) She has done absolutely nothing with me regarding college.
3) Or, indeed, regarding me being properly on track with high school. (Far from it.)
4) She never answers my questions properly, and she always talks over me and doesn't LISTEN to what I'm saying.
5) There's more.
6) The real clincher?

She's known from the very start that I didn't go to an actual school during 9th grade because I was too sick, and agreed to right away start me on a 504 plan (504: plan for helping kids with health problems) to help me through school. So we said okay, cool, nifty, great, let's give this a try. Was the 504 plan ever even discussed again? A couple times, when we brought it up, and nothing came of it. At all. She waved it off as "in the process" or something, and three years after supposedly starting it, it still was never put into motion or ANYTHING.

Okay. She's busy. She's head of a lot of things, and she's always running around doing something. We can forgive a few things, but once someone is so busy they're doing theirjob wrong, that, we never forgive. She should learn to back off when she has too many things on her plate.

Why did I tell you about the 504 plan? Because mum was doing her own research (fi.na.lly.) on FLVS (that website I take online classes), and discovered a few different things.

1) FLVS has a Homeschooled program.
2) FLVS has a Blake Accelerated Programs (basically homeschooled, but not quite).
3) FLVS has a lot of programs.
4) FLVS has a Co-Enrollment program.

What, you ask, is Co-Enrollment? Well, co-enrollment is when you take some classes online, and only a few classes in school, to your discretion, but only up to a total of 6 or 7. Not the 9 or 10 that I've been doing. So, for example, you don't want to go to school until noon because you literally just can't seem to wake up and think until then. All right, you go from 12-3 and then do some classes online later. Basically, that's it.

Now. I told mother point-blank that the only (I stress: ONLY) reason I considered coming back to school this year is because it is my senior year. I knew very well I was far too ill, and unable to do much, and that overall it was pointless for me to go to school. But I'm so completely stressed and burnt out that my rather brain-dead mind (not an exaggeration, I typically feel very... blank, these days) offered me no other solutions, and quite honestly I was running myself so ragged that I very nearly landed myself in the hospital.

Whether that was because my body almost broke or my mind already did, I'm not really sure myself.

You think I'm exaggerating? I'm really not. My health is seriously that frail, and I was pushing it way past my limit. A few days before coming down with the flu (I think swine, from the symptoms) I just completely gave up: I had no thought process, couldn't command my body to do anything it didn't want to do (which included picking up a pencil and taking even NOTES, of which I've never had a problem with), and went basically completely and utterly blank. I didn't speak, didn't even really answer if it didn't require a shake or nod of the head, I didn't do any work, nothing. I completely gave up, and I was way beyond caring. I don't think it's possible for anyone to care less than I did that I had, finally, given up.

Luckily I came down with the flu, so I had a week of not being expected to do or say anything, and staying in my room the entire time was fine. By the time I was dragged to the doctor for a booster shot for my poor, poor immune system, I had recovered the ability of pretending I was almost myself, and could joke and laugh along with people. Did I actually feel or think anything? No, but it was automatic for me to pretend I could because my body would play along for a bit now. I did it the second time around, too, so all was right.

However, I'm still sick, and not getting any better, but we can't afford to get yet another booster shot. They aren't exactly cheap.

So I bluntly told mom that I would not return to school until my co-enrollment plan was in action (of MY design, with absolutely NO change whatsoever; I put exactly what I COULD and WOULD do, and no more), and she has said okay. When she suggested I do the first semester of the 10-11 school year, I bluntly told her no. No, because if I couldn't walk across that graduation stage of '10 with the rest of the senior class I would quit school here and now. I don't go to dances, participate in any of those silly senior things, or anything like that, but I WILL walk across that stage, and I WILL be there right along with the rest of them. And if I'm resentful and bitter of those graduating in white (honors) because I should be there, well, at least I'm there at all. I'll take what measly little I seem able to get, but if nothing else I'm tenacious and won't let them take that away from me.

Okay. Bordering insane, obsessed-sounding, and whack. Stopping that now.

So, I'd told my guidance counselor I would be willing to come in for a max of four periods a day, all in the afternoon. The last two periods would be what I have already (7th, Creative Writing, and 8th, Economics Honors), and then the first two would either be both Impact (basically it's a computer lab for those who need credits to graduate) or one Impact and one IS2 (Earth-Space Science, of which I have learned very little new, but had a C so I was willing to go to it if she had 5th or 6th period of it).

However, as I told her I'd much prefer simply going to Impact both periods, and was only considering also going to IS2 in 5th or 6th because I'm being nice, not because I really want to.

On second thought, I think I'll tell her to just put me in Impact both periods. I'm done doing what I don't want to.

So... Yeah.

Life is crazy, and I hate it.

But it better start going my way soon, or I think I'll be going postal.

In other news, mum's birthday was yesterday. I kindly didn't ask what her age was (I never remember, though I know her birth year so I can do the math -- wow, that old already?). I made her brekkie in bed (french toast, her favorite), and then Kyle (the soon-to-be-father-of-twins) took her to a Thai restaurant for lunch. But she couldn't find anything in her closet to wear, as she's gained weight (her thyroid is screwing up, and she doesn't have the meds for it), so she came downstairs seeking my guidance, lol. I rolled my eyes, raided my wardrobe, and threw her into an electric blue Chico's jacket (one of our best colors, mum and I both), added a necklace and earrings, and it looked like I had done a ton more. Hahahaaaaaa, she left feeling good about herself, which is all I really cared.
Then I made a cake, she came home, blew out the candle, and we ate cake. And it was good. So. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, and because Ezra has absolutely NO immune system whatsoever from the chemo treatments, I can't be around him. Or his parents. Or their house. Or anyone who is going to be around him any time soon or anything. Or.... get the idea?

Though Thanksgiving should be interesting, as the plan is to have it at their house. But I'm still sick, so... yeah, don't see how Thanksgiving is happening. What truly irks me is that I can't help cook Thanksgiving meal, ugh. I look forward to it ever year, I love helping my dad cook it. It's, like, our private little bonding time.

So. Life is interesting. And sucks.

End Of Journal, bai-bai.